My Future Funeral Service

I have never been a fan of funerals. Especially, when they are the epitome of gloom and doom. Having gone to my fair share this is what I have to say—it is meant to be purposeful to those who are of the Christian faith.

Before I say too much though, I invite you to come into the kind of funeral that I have in mind. Take a seat, and experience the atmosphere with me.

It is 6:00 P.M. and cars are beginning to spill into the cemetery from the freeway. Most of the people are on time except for a few who probably weren’t too close to the deceased. Once parked, and people begin to unfold themselves from their seats and step out of the vehicles the message is clear enough. People are grieving. Some are just sad.

Everybody knows they are to keep their voices hushed. And all of the children have already been threatened that if they don’t behave they may end up being the next one in the casket. Furthermore, beginning with the children and ending with the elderly, everybody is donned in blackness. The message is clear. Death is in the air.

The funeral home is divided in two parts: the first is what I call the preparatory room, where everybody really prefers to hang out in. It is the preferred room because it is where all the old friends and family that haven’t seen each other in a long time get to do some catching up, and figure out where they should all go eat for dinner. The second part of the home is (in my mind) the room of death. Yes, it is hear that everybody is confronted with the cold-hard fact of death. Much less is said in this room for fear of maybe waking up the dead. People cry but not too loudly so that they don’t make those who aren’t crying feel too uncomfortable. The message is clear. Some people are sad.

Now the ceremony begins. To be sure, most of what is done is deeply rooted in a traditional fashion, not to much unlike some of our modern church services. ORDER! Everything that is done is done in such a timely order. One or two songs are sung. A witty solemn prayer is published. Words of comfort are given and then the preacher presents the substance of what he had been rehearsing the night before. A simple, eloquent, and waxy message to give the crowd a pat on the back for still being alive.

The following is my favorite part. This is the part that the crowd is allowed to get involved in. Those who are going to share have probably been thinking about it all day. What to say and how to present it. And as you listen to them stumble across their broken and saddened thoughts you can’t help but feel that for some of them their pain is profoundly rooted in regret. All that they are saying now they wish they would have said before. The message is clear. Some are grieving. Others are sad. And some have regrets.

Once the service reaches its paid time limit, the hand picked casket carriers carry the box from the home to the car and then we all make a pilgrimage from the home to the grave. A hole has been dug. It is here that I need you stop with me for a brief “second.” The Box. I have never been able to understand the need to spend so much money on a box. Dude! There is absolutely no reason to lavish so much on a dead person. Think of all the living that could use such money to help keep from dying. “Second” over. The whole experience is brought to a conclusion with dirt. The hole is covered.

So let me explain to you why I have disagreement with this traditional way of remembering and honoring our dead brothers and sisters. Let me do so first by defining the manner in which I would want my death to be honored. Perhaps a list shall serve my purpose here.


When I die this is how I would like it to be:

1. Everybody wears white or Hawaiian shirts. For goodness sake, I am going to be leaving this dark and dim world and entering into a greater light. Don’t glorify the moment in blackness but celebrate the light.
2. No gloomy-doomy music. I want the best live tunes that can be found. I want it to be an occasion to worship Jesus—and radically so.
3. Invite as many lost people as you can to my funeral and preach the uncompromising truth of the Gospel.
4. If you are going to cry then cry for everybody to hear. If you are going to laugh then don’t hold back-let it roar. Don’t compromise on your emotions-be real.
5. If my body happens to be available after death, then I want to be buried in a cardboard box. And if there is some silly law out there that says you can’t be buried in a box, then use the next cheapest thing. Maybe someone could nail together some two-by-fours. Be creative.
6. If the moment is going to be sad then let it be the most joyful and fun sad moment you have ever had. May Christ be celebrated and worshiped.
7. I want nothing to do with all the structure and formality that dictates the atmosphere in funerals. I know I won’t be around to voice my opinion about this but all who read and happen to be alive once I die are personally responsible for making sure my desire is fulfilled.
8. Lastly, have a good time and don’t worry about waking me up. Talk as loud as you want.

Simply put, I don’t want people to be fake. No pretending at my funeral. If you want to say something about me then talk about Jesus. If you want to honor me then worship Jesus. Let everything that is done be done in the freedom and liberty of Christ. And please, don’t let the service be dictated by a time schedule. 30 minute to 1 hour long services speak more about the western capitalistic way then anything else. What an amazing thing it would be if everyone just lost track of time while worshiping the eternal God who is not bound by time. Time loses its meaning the closer it gets to eternity. Thus the closer we get to Jesus the less we will care about being bound to our religious time schedules.

If I could decide on how I would like my funeral to look it would be as I have loosely defined above.

I think all funerals of every Pilgrim should be unique, genuine, and real. It should never be the case that reality is suppressed for the sake of wanting to keep a silly tradition. And trust me, I have seen and heard a lot of silly things at funerals. May Christ Jesus be magnified ever so abundantly in the falling asleep of His bride.

To be completely honest my main beef with the modern funeral is that they just aren’t very Christ-like and Christ centered. They should be one of our greatest evangelistic tools for communicating the faith, hope, and love of Christianity.

Done.